“I regret to announce – this is The End. I am going now. I bid you all a very fond farewell.”
– J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
In Tolkien’s famous The Fellowship of the Ring, Bilbo Baggins throws an elaborate birthday party for himself that is actually a goodbye party. This is dramatically revealed during his speech when he suddenly says farewell and disappears.
Cinematically, it is poignant and stirring, but we soon find out that he has not made proper preparations for his departure, including finding a safe place for the iconic ring of power.
Unlike Bilbo, I often think about how to “leave well” because of my role as an Interim Executive Director. But regardless of whether you are an entry-level or executive hobbit, leaving well is a valuable skill to develop.
Staying in one position or organization for many years can be laudable, but statistics reveal that most of us do not. The most recent data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics shows that the average employee stays with an employer for just over four years. However, some industries (like food service) and roles (like managerial positions) have an average tenure that is far less than the national average. I have witnessed this trend toward shorter work stints in the nonprofit space as well. But knowing that people leave, does not tell us much about how they should leave or why “leaving well” is so important.
Why should you leave well? The primary purpose of any organization is to deliver on its mission. Enabling that to continue as seamlessly as possible is one reason to leave well. When someone leaves poorly, it can cause unintended consequences such as lower productivity due to decreased morale among remaining staff. Sometimes organizations will overcorrect following a tricky departure, making fast or sweeping reactionary changes that create instability and decrease impact. Simply put, leaving well allows organizations to remain committed to their missions so they can act as a force for good in their communities. Leaving poorly can also hurt you by hindering your future prospects. It is a small world, life is long, and we need each other more than we sometimes realize. Leaving well will be best for you and anyone you leave behind.
The art of leaving well comes through learning how to be “all in” when we are in a role while maintaining the ability to truly let go when it is time.
These 10 recommendations will help you understand how to leave your job gracefully:
- Set your intention
Write yourself a note or an email about what you intend to accomplish through this role. Include a work-related accomplishment, a personal development accomplishment, and a date by which you intend to move on from the role. You can do this at any point during your journey, but it will be most satisfying (and fun to read later) if you do it just before your first day on the job. That is often when your excitement about the role will be highest. An important part of setting your intention is visualizing success. This means taking a moment to imagine yourself at the end of your journey in this role. The more specific, the better. Who is at your goodbye party? What do they say and how do you feel? Are there fireworks? Just kidding… - Keep beginner’s eyes
When we are new, we are more likely to have a humble approach, be more curious and open to possibilities, and act more objectively in our decision making. Check in with yourself every three months. Flex your beginner’s eyes through mindfulness and positive inquiry. Ask yourself, “What am I holding that I could let go?” Consider asking your team, “What could I let go of?” Connect with new employees and listen carefully to understand their perspective. - Prioritize transparency and candor
Whenever possible, limit your role in creating and/or adding to drama within your organization. If you are serving in an interim role, provide as much information as you can about the timeline of the search for the permanent person. Make it clear whether you are applying for the role and if you intend to stay or go. Then, stick to it. - Consider your legacy
What can you build that can/should live beyond you? Collaborate with your team to identify the patterns or systems within the organization that are functional and dysfunctional. Which ones can you impact during your time in this role? Who are the “hidden gems” on your team and what can you do to empower them? Are there opportunities for distributed leadership? Let your ego take a backseat and be flexible and thoughtful about your impact. - Maintain external connections
Keeping options open will help you feel less anxious as your departure approaches. - Practice gratitude
Express specific and heartfelt gratitude to as many people as possible – not just at the end, but along the way as well. Remind yourself: we do not accomplish anything truly alone. Someone hired you and someone will carry this work after you move on. Be honest with yourself about who has helped you in all the small and big ways in this role. Be grateful! - Keep it real
Face yourself, connect to your feelings and let yourself feel them fully. Maybe you love this role and are sad about leaving it. Maybe you can’t wait to get out. You don’t have to share your true feelings with anyone else but being honest with yourself will help you process the coming change and ultimately, get past it with less turmoil. - Plan it out
Succession onboarding is great if it is possible. Regardless of whether you are training your replacement or an existing team member, make a plan and allow the plan to flex if needed. Think carefully through which pieces are truly necessary for you to weigh in on. Are you training someone to do a task or giving them your opinions on it? Both things might be necessary, but knowing the difference is important. - Let it go
Truly let go of your ideas about the future of the organization you are leaving. Unless you will continue there in a different capacity, you are leaving. Therefore, you must release your team from upholding your ideas and plans. The organization needs to be able to evolve beyond you. If they want to continue involving you, it will likely need to be on the organization’s terms. Think carefully about whether staying involved is in your best interest. - Say goodbye
This type of closure may not feel important to you, but it is likely important to at least one of the people you work with. Schedule time for it. If you cannot bring yourself to do in-person goodbyes, an email is better than nothing.
I understand the temptation to leave with a bang like Bilbo. Without a doubt, leaving well is not easy, but cultivating this skill will give your career more flexibility. And it is not just about your own professional development, it is also about setting the organization up for success. The goal is to make it possible for your team to cheer you on as you give it your all and then cheer you on again as you let go and move on. Leaving well enables your organization and the members of your team to avoid unnecessary turmoil, giving them the best chance for future success.
If you are in a leadership role and planning your exit, consider bringing in interim leadership to bridge the gap until a permanent leader can be hired to fill the role. Valtas helps nonprofits with interim placements and executive search to keep these vital organizations doing their best work without disruption. Contact us to learn more about how we can help with your leadership transition.
